Beautiful Bastard by Christina Lauren
My rating: 1 of 5 stars
*ARC provided by edelweiss & Gallery Books*
*deeep, cleansing breath*
My first thought after finishing this was...
WHY THE FRACK DID I JUST WASTE MY AFTERNOON READING THIS?!?
Honestly, I had heard some...shall we say...interesting things about this book, so I didn't exactly go into it thinking it was going to be much more than a fun read. What I ended up with was a hot mess the likes of which I have come across very rarely in my life as a book nerd.
Let me just say, I have nothing against fan fiction. In fact, I have written my fair share of it in the past. So, it's not like I had a problem with this book starting out as Twilight fanfic. But, this book was just beyond ridiculous. I know some people enjoyed it for the mere fact that some of the scenes and dialogue were funny (and obviously not intentionally so), but for me...the enjoyment ended at around the 25% mark. By that point I was so sick of the angry (and not at all erotic) sex scenes and inane dialogue that I had to start skimming in order to make it to the end.
The dialogue....oh sweet muppets in space, the dialogue was horrible. I know this sounds harsh, but I swear sometimes it came off as being written by a demented 5 year old. I mean, in comparison Fifty Shades was eloquent & heartfelt. And I am all for a good smutty read, but I do like a bit of a story line to go along with the sex. The attempt at a 'plot' here was half-hearted at best, and ended up as nothing more than filler to break up what would have otherwise been just one incredibly long and drawn out sex scene.
There is nothing new here. Nothing interesting. Arrogant, rich & impossibly gorgeous businessman finds himself drawn to his beguiling and sassy employee. Both parties half-heartedly try to resist the temptation to hump like bunnies and hold off for all of about 30 seconds. Rinse and repeat.
And a review for this book would not be complete without mentioning Bennett's obsession with panties. He keeps a drawer full of all the ones he's ripped off of Chloe during their angry sex sessions.
I wish i could have embraced this book the way some people have. Maybe the fact that I have burned myself out on all the Fifty Shades clones out there and it clouded my judgement. But this book was just one long, painful fail for me.